Two weeks ago, as I checked my email I got an alert that my card was used to purchase concert tickets. I quickly contacted my credit card company to tell them I did not make this purchase. As I was chatting with an agent I texted Ivan to tell him what happened. He texted me back saying, how did you get an alert?! Well it turns out Ivan was trying to surprise me with tickets to the Soul 2 Soul Tour except he used the wrong card. This is married life. When you share everything and you want to surprise each other you have to get super creative to pull it off, ha! In Ivan’s case it was a mistake and well although it was still a surprise and I WAS SO EXCITED, he wanted to be the one to tell me. This whole thing got me thinking about the element of surprise and how it can bring romance to your relationship. Now, let’s be real, even the best relationships can become routine in our everyday busy lives (us included). So MARRIED people, how do we continue to do little things to surprise each other? How do we make sure to not let our interactions with our spouse become just another part of the routine?
I think one way to really help with that is listening to each other. I know it’s obvious, but some of us are not doing it with intention. I know sometimes it’s easy to tune each other out. We are all guilty of this and I talk too much so I don’t blame Ivan. I believe when you listen to your spouse you are able to really understand what they want or what they need from you. I think when you can stop (put the phone way, turn off that show you guys watch together every night) and take time to actually talk to each other, naturally communication improves, which in turn your relationship improves. Plus, thinking of ideas on how to surprise each other comes easier.
TELL your spouse you like being surprised. YES, maybe you’re saying right now: he or she already knows that. However sometimes when you’ve been married for a while you have to remind each other of these things. And that is OK, especially when you live busy lives (with kids).
Personally, I like being surprised but snooping is my favorite. Ask Ivan about Christmas presents, I am the worst and he hates that I snoop, which makes it more fun for me.
Please do share below how you guys keep surprising each other in your marriage. If you share you, you never know you may actually be helping another couple that may need an extra spark!
Photo by: Nicole Lennox Photography